Optimistic...

I wish I could be right now.
But I can't help it, I didn't get the part in my school play, because the directors picked favorites.


I just drank two redbulls, and I haven't eaten anything to day, I really need to before I puk.



I'm starting to feel for him.
That sucks, cause he treats me like SHIT. I didn't talk to him for a whole semester when I had two classes with him, now I only have one, and suddenly he has to come talk to him.
Doesn't he know he messes me up.
He has done so much bad to me, made me cry so many bad things to me, but I can't help but be attracted to him.
We were young love in a sense.
We "went out" when we were 11.
"going out" when your 11 means you hug eachother BUT YOUR SCARED TOO. I don't consider it a relationship, AT ALL, but I do think of it as a friendship. But he didn't in middle school, he distanced himself from me, because he wanted to be cool.
Now In high school he still wants to be cool, that's why he did stuff in the beginning of ninth grade. Now, I guess he has found himself, and a way back to me.
But I almost wish he didn't. I don't want to fall for him. I don't like him, no do I love him. It's just when he is nice to me, I feel on cloud nine.
I guess its the classic story of girl who loves the person who isn't right for them.
Too bad I have to see him EVERYWHERE.




peace & love